Auditions for “Sex Please, We’re Sixty”

artwork for Sex Please We're Sixty

The Village Players of Hatboro will be holding open auditions for our 70th season closer, Sex Please, We’re Sixty, a comedy by Michael & Susan Parker.

Auditions will occur at our theater on the following dates:

  • Sunday, March 19th – 7pm
  • Monday, March 20th – 7pm

No monologues. No experience needed. First time actors are warmly welcome. Production runs for three weeks in June 2017. Auditions will be a cold read from the script. Rehearsals will begin soon after the play is cast and the schedule will be determined by cast availability.

Show dates are June (2017) 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24.

NOTE: There are also four private benefit shows scheduled that all cast members must be present for. They will be held on the evenings of June 14th (Wednesday), June 15th (Thursday), June 20th (Tuesday), and June 22nd (Thursday).

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(Comedy) Mrs. Stancliffe’s Rose Cottage Bed & Breakfast has been successful for many years. Her Guests (nearly all women) return year after year. Her next door neighbor, the elderly, silver-tongued, Bud “Bud the Stud” Davis believes they come to spend time with him in romantic liaisons. The prim and proper Mrs. Stancliffe steadfastly denies this, but really doesn’t do anything to prevent it. She reluctantly accepts the fact that “Bud the Stud” is, in fact, good for business. Her other neighbor and would-be suitor Henry Mitchell is a retired chemist who has developed a blue pill called “Venusia,” after Venus the goddess of love, to increase the libido of menopausal women. The pill has not been tested.


BUD DAVIS – (Age 70 plus): The next door neighbor to Mrs. Stancliffe’s Rose cottage Bed & Breakfast. He is weak, frail looking (the frailer the better) and appears at first glance to have “One foot in the grave.” However, over the years, he has become renowned among the female guests as “Bud the Stud.” He claims responsibility for the success of the bed and breakfast, believing all the females return year after year to see him. He enchants all of them with his silver tongue and sexual prowess. (Very elderly, somewhat infirm, chauvinistic, brazen, but likable.)

MRS. STANCLIFFE – (Age 60 plus): The owner of Rose Cottage Bed & Breakfast. She is a severe woman both in dress and manner. Precise in speech and punctuality; she gives the impression of efficiency and competence. She is intolerant of Bud’s “Hanky panky”, with her guests, but reluctantly has to agree he is good for business. Pursued by her next door neighbor Henry she refuses to let him into her life, until surprising events finally bring them together: (sensible, practical, punctual, business-like, menopausal, finally radiant and sensuous).

HENRY MITCHELL – (Age 60 plus): a retired chemist and Mrs. Sutcliffe’s “Gentleman Caller.” He is a mild mannered man who has proposed t to Mrs. Sutcliffe every afternoon for twenty years. He is always the perfect gentleman, and shows a great deal of respect for all the women around him. He has developed Venusia, a pill to increase the libido in menopausal women, but refuses to test it on moral grounds. Bud calls him, “A stick in the mud”, and he probably is, but eventually comes out of his shell. (Gentle, caring, thoughtful, lovable).

VICTORIA AMBROSE – (Age 50 plus): Victoria is a renowned author who writes steamy romantic novels. She pines for romance in her personal life, but finds none. Flattered at first by Bud’s attentions, she later sees him as the shallow, insincere, Casanova that he really is and readily joins the plot to turn “Bud the Stud” into “Bud the Dud.” (Pretty, serious, intelligent, menopausal.)

HILLARY HUDSON – (Age 50 plus): Hillary is a beautiful, well educated, articulate, and sophisticated in both manner and dress. She is an old friend and coworker of Henry’s who agrees to test the Venusia pills. Initially skeptical of Bud’s attentions, she gradually warms towards him but is it the Venusia or Bud’s charms? (Elegant, charming, best described “ As a touch of class.” Intelligent and menopausal).

CHARMAINE BEAUREGARD – (Age 50 plus): Charmaine is the quintessential southern belle. She definitely here at Rose Cottage for “Bud the Stud.” Of all people, she does not need Venusia, as her entire life seems to be run for her overactive libido. However, she is a proud woman who will not be two-timed by Bud, and becomes the leading light in the plot to tame him. (Voluptuous, outgoing, gushing, demonstrative, menopausal).


Audition nights are a perfect time to come out, meet the director, and express your interest in helping out backstage, be it in the role of a stage manager, lights & sound operator, concessions, or whatever else you might like to do.

They’re also GREAT for first-timers to come out and observe how things are done, maybe express interest in being a helper, or read for a part! We almost always cast at least one person who’s never been on stage before. You never know what can happen!

Questions? Please contact the show’s director, Jim Kirkwood at

2 thoughts on “Auditions for “Sex Please, We’re Sixty”

  • March 19, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    How often do you rehearse once you get started? Would love to
    Audition- am an actress, but have done little to no theater, just not sure about the time committee
    Thank you

    • March 19, 2017 at 8:54 pm

      Hi Sara,
      It looks like the director, Jim, will wait to see what the cast’s availability is before making up a schedule. It’s not unusual to rehearse an average of 2 nights a week but every director is different — so you’ll get the most accurate answer from Jim. You can email him at


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